Another shooting. Another day of senseless killing. Another day of television programming live from the location where minutes and hours before, random people have died for no apparent reason,
I am of average intelligence -- maybe even slightly above -- and I don't understand.
What happens to people that they get out of bed one day, after generally having put considerable thought and planning into it, they drive to a certain location and they start shooting, killing as many people as possible in a short few minute? What gets into a person that this looks like a good idea? How can a human being bring about such violence, such ugliness, such vile thinking that actually hurting and killing a living thing can be done? Am I missing something?
I couldn't even hurt an animal - of any kind. I could, I suppose, if I or one of mine were in danger... but even then, I have wondered if I actually could. Now - a person, a person that I do not know that is an immediate threat to one of my kids or grand kids, I guess I could hurt them, or even kill them. I've often wondered why I have felt more compassion for animals than I have felt for humans - say on tv, in a crime story or something like that. I always cry when an animal is hurt - on any show, even on a stupid Disney movie, when you know darned well that the ending will be happy, I still cry when animals are hurt or killed. I never cry when a person is hurt or murdered on a tv show or movie -(what does that say about me?).
Luckily, I have never had to test my theory about hurting another that is trying to harm me or mine - or an animal that is wanting to do harm. I just hasn't happened. And so, we are always told we don't know how we would react. I'm sure there is truth in that. But I am not a violent person - even if I am hurt, I have no feelings of inflicting hurt on another, at least when it comes to emotional pain and hurt. I've never dealt with any kind of physical pain against myself - other than a spanking or two when I was very young. So, I guess I don't know how I would react.
So, I CANNOT understand why people do what has happened today at the airport in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. And countless other locations recently. I watch the news reports and cry - literally - for those who don't make it, but more do for the families of those who don't or those who lived through such horror and are forced to live with it afterwards. I am smart enough to know that often those that commit these horrendous crimes have had awful, painful, violent lives - and I suppose that kind of living situation can make the brain go haywire. But many, many people have had unbelievably horrible beginnings and they do not "get even" or react this way. So, I really don't get it. I do know that the older I get, the more these things hurt me. The more I can feel the pain of those who do have to endure these events. The more disturbed I am. And the more useless I feel in the face of it. Nothing can be done - nothing can help, there is nothing I can do.
I have always believed that the only hope in changing this changing world - the only hope in making the thinking of this collective world more loving, less "me" and more "us" - is God. And, raising children that know nothing but love, nothing but security, nothing but solid thinking, reasoning, and turning the other cheek. So, I have done that. And I am helping to do that with my Grand kids. Beyond that --- I am completely helpless. A feeling that I hate, and find myself feeling more often each year.
So --- I'm doing the only thing I can think of. I'm praying for those involved. It feels so inconsequential.
I hope you all are having good days-
Back soon. :)