Saturday, October 22, 2011

The beat goes on

I am forcing myself to sit here and write, it seems lately that I cannot find the time, or I lack the inspiration or some damned thing. But I miss writing here, I need to write here. So here goes nothing...all random, as that is the way my brain runs these days. Snippets here, entire subjects there.

I do NOT have a brain tumor. Not that I thought I did, but the doctorman made me rule it out this week. Yes - I know. So, the crazy is all mine. ALL MINE. I'm not sure if I like that or not.

Work is scary slow. So far in this recession that I call a depression, we have been pretty much unscathed. Not so lately. We need a good finish to the month...that would make many people breathe easier. So, since it is so slow, I have really not had much to do. Well, there is always something to do really, but I work best when I have a succession of things in a certain order, under pressure. I always have.

I have a sinus everyone else this  year, it seems. So - while I was having the CT scan to rule out the tumor, I had one of my sinuses. I assumed they would be full of gunk...I can NEVER breathe, or my nose runs all the time. But, NOPE - all clear. So, mr doc says to see an allergist if the problems persist, not an ENT. Good hell...I don't want any more doctors. But I also like breathing.

My kiddos - the little ones, were here last evening. I had such fun with them. Brodie is saying everything and I can't even believe it. They love coming here, there is grass to play in, rocks to climb on, carpet to run on swings and a slide, and a lot of room to run. By the time they leave I need a pill or two and a beer. They wear me all the way out--- being with them is aerobic, I'm telling you. And nerve wracking and for that, I have no idea why. I am on high alert every second...worrying that they will hurt themselves somehow. And every damned time they visit, they do. Brodie left with a big old goose egg on his head AGAIN last night. They are just so full of energy. Zach runs every bit as much as Brodie. He is in that stage where everything is a wonder, so fascinating. I love it. I love them. I cannot even tell you how much.

I am going to the SYMPHONY tonight and I am so excited! I have always wanted to go. Like I said in an earlier blog post, I am getting on with living. My pain can suck it. I am taking pills and getting on with my life---and I am tired, but it's worth it. So anyway, I cannot wait for tonight. We will get dressed up, (some) and have a real evening out together. I may hate the symphony, but I'll bet I don't. The one thing I am worried about is falling asleep. Every time I stop moving...that's what I do. I average about four hours a night on sleep, so I am quite tired. I cannot sleep due to pain. This problem is the one I cannot change, at least so far. Laying or sitting with my head anywhere but straight up hurts like a youknowwhat. Yeah, like that. If I could sleep like a horse and stand in my stall it would be fine. So I muddle along. TIRED. But I am getting used to it. Eventually the lack of sleep makes me a bit manic and I can get alot done.

I was sick all last weekend, throwing up. WTF? I missed an entire weekend...and you know, there are only so many of those allotted to us in our lives. It really made me mad, it came out of left field. Mark actually took care of me. Seriously. He has never done that. He brought me what I needed, things like that. I didn't ask him to hold my head or anything, ewww. I despise barfing. I will do anything not to throw up, but sometimes there is no choice in the matter and that's where I was last week. Jordy and Tegan even came over for football Sunday all day and I missed that, too. They had a fine time with Mark - but I wanted to be with them, too.

Okay--enough. I will try and post a few pics of my babies here...

Have a great weekend, friends. I'm going to.  :)

These guys are ALWAYS thirsty.

" I want to take the pictures, Me-Maw."

 Brodies first attempt at photography...what a beautiful shot of Me-Maw.  Ugh.

"Say CHEESE mommy."  She really said some cheese....!!


 Sort of like a sausage in a too-tight casing.  :)  Poor little chubby Meisha girl.

"I am way too cool for this picture crap. "

Tonka is always chasing the ties on my robe.

See ya'll next time!


Coffeypot said...

I thought I had a brain tumor, too. But the Dr. said, ‘Nope! It’s not a tumor, it’s your brain. It’s just swollen with knowledge (more like useless trivia and pron jokes.) And goose eggs on the head is part of the makeup of boys. If they don’t have them, they are sissies. My mom was scared to death I was growing devil horns on both sides of my forehead, but they were just goose bumps from being a boy.

I know what you mean about the grandkids wearing you out. Mine still do it and they are teenagers. But I would have it no other way. No deeper love than that for a grand-kid.

Noofy said...

Now that the brain tumor idea is dismissed, you can stop worrying, right? BTW, nothing wrong with your writing, I follow along perfectly, so do others! I agree with being sick, especially barfing on weekends, knock it off - seriously, glad you're feeling better. Enjoy your symphony tonight, focus on that and have a blast. Enjoy the good times like tonight and when your children the Grands visit. We all have too many bad times to endure and let go, right? Also, great new profile pic, your hair looks nice longer, you look younger , yeah! Look forward to hearing about your evening, enjoy!

Kristy said...

lovely pictures. Glad your doing better. Pain really bites the big one.

Leann said...

Great pictures!! They love their MeMaw.

Enjoy the symphony. Hopefully the newness and excitement will keep you awake :-) Have a wonderful weekend my dear. blessed be

Julianna said...

Zombies have control of my brain... I'm sure of it.

So glad to see you're still living life, and OH HOW CUTE THEY ARE!!!!

Mary said...

Yes, grandbabies do just wear you out but isn't it a sweet, loving experience. Nothing else comes close to the love of the babies.

I think that you'll love the symphony. At one time I had season tickets. Before Harry and I met, he dated a woman who was a member of the Mobile Symphony and he said he learned to absolutely hate it. I guess my symphony days are over but that's OK. Have you considered evenings at a local theater? We both love local theater and local high school productions, as well.

Take care, my friend. My prayers for pain release are with you.

Cheryl said...

I started my comment writing something about my lack of writing, then decided to use it on my blog. Thanks for the inspiration!

Drama around here with my kid, as I know you have with yours, except you get the grandkids. I want them! I'm glad you have them. They definitely add joy to your life, and you need that.

I hope business picks up for you. It probably will since you've weathered the recession so far. My business has had slow times, then it picks up, thank goodness. Yours will too.

I always think the worst medically. I've diagnosed myself with all kinds of cancer, but not brain. So far, I've always been fine. Much to my surprise.

Hope you enjoyed your night out. Hope you've felt well today.

And there you go...I wrote a little book on your blog.

Damon said...

nice post

Janie Fox said...

I fall asleep when I sit down too. Not from lack of sleep because I usually sleep well. Giving up sugar has made such a difference in that. I wish they could fox your pain. Those babies are so pretty. They have your eyes. Just beautiful. Have a great isn't far away now!

Bina said...

I'm glad you don't have a brain tumor, but, I know what you mean. If it's not that, then what the heck is it??

Those babies are so cute!!! You have a very beautiful family!

Beau's Mom said...

So, it's not a brain tumor....then what is it?

When doctors can't fix the relentless problems, they always go for the worst case scenario hoping you'll be so relieved you'll just leave them alone afterwards.

If they can't fix the little things, be very glad it WASN'T a tumor!