Sunday, July 17, 2011

Eureka---as in we have found it, not like the vacuum. :)

Being half of a couple again takes some readjustment...in many different ways. I cannot say I didn't or still don't enjoy living alone. I do. There are many good things about it---but mostly, it's the solitude of the mornings, the time that has always been "mine" to do with as I please. Even when my children were little, I would get up purposely ridiculously early, to have that time to myself. And that is a habit I never outgrew. While these days I wish I could sleep longer, I still wake so, so early - this morning, just after three. Yes, pain is a huge part of that but I have to admit, even if I were not bogged down in physical hell every day of my life, I would still arise at this stupid, stupid hour. Having said that, I look over at the man in my bed, and wonder how this will all work out, logistically. I try to be quiet here, in my tiny, tiny one bedroom apartment, but there are no doors here, an open loft of sorts, and being quiet really isn't possible. He doesn't sleep here every night, but I like it when he does. However, that does leave us with a problem in the early morning. He is tired, and of course, is not an early riser...good hell, who in their right mind is? He works very long hours, and has every right to sleep late on his only day off each week. That has never been something we could possibly have in common, but always before, we had an entire floor- and several hundred square feet between us, back in the happy days, in small town Iowa. And in the new place we have found, we will have a door between the bed and the office...and a couple hundred square feet, at least, so that will help. In the meantime, this trying to be together from two tiny apartments is a bit of a challenge. I say that like we have two to work from, but let me say this: I do not enjoy being at his place, it is a pigsty. And seriously, that will bring us to the next big challenge of being together again. Yes, I could probably loosen up a little in that regard but I won't. I cannot be happy living without order, and he apparently----CAN. Something I did not know --- not after thirteen years of living with me. He has re-found his single, carefree, slob filled ways, those that he enjoyed when I met him, in his late twenties. Ummmm....NO. He knows it, it has been discussed and decided that he can be a cleaner-upper again, and this will be something that I won't allow him to back track on. Just so you know, MARK---yes, I am talking to you....you did agree. Enough said?

And yes...we have found a new place, on that we will be moving into on September third. I love it, I can't wait, and these next six weeks will be hard to get through, although I do not look forward to the doing part...but we are moving to a three bedroom, one level, NICE, NICE, NICE townhouse with a two car garage right off the kitchen. Oh the joy of not having to carry everything up to the third level, even if there are elevators involved, that has been a huge, huge issue. There is carpet on the floors, I am so excited, yes---I know you are all aghast, because everyone seems to be pulling it all up these days, and replacing with the beautiful wood I cannot wait to get rid of, but let me tell you all---if you haven't lived with that beautiful wood yet, and if you have cats (three now, ugh), and are a clean freak like me, and have grandsons that can't crawl around on that hard, cold crap....then you might want to reconsider that beautiful wood. Yes, I agree---there is no floor more enjoyable to look at. But a pain in the you know what to keep up, and cold in the winter, omgosh....and just not freakin' practical. If I want to drop to the floor to roll around with Brodie or Zach, hell I would break at least one bone and have a mild concussion. So, I cannot wait for the carpet or the huge oval bathtub that I will live in for a while, or the gas fireplace, or the room to spread out....it will be wonderful. But so much to do first, so just kill me now.

Happy Sunday, ya'll.  :)

10 comments:

Summer said...

I am so happy for you!

Janie Fox said...

sounds great...not the packing but the living. I roam the quiet halls with you as you know. My man is never the wiser. Doors...thank you God.

On the Road Again said...

I am so happy for you that you will be together in your new place soon. I am so sorry you have to go through the doing phase, I know that will be tough for you. Just keep your eye on the prize, all that room!

Beau's Mom said...

I totally understand. After my divorce, I came home from work and walked through every room and rejoiced that every room was MINE!! MINE!!

I remarried eventually, with the idea I would still have MY space - MY time - and "enjoy" my insomnia.

But that is never the case. Your time coincides with his. Your space is shared with his, and your insomnia is looked upon as weird.

So you have to figure out: extra room, carpeting, oval tub, one floor home, adjusting, cooperating, sharing - versus independence.

Sounds like you're going to give it a second try and you already know the pot holes.

One tip: You won't change because you can't. We are hardwired to be who we are.

So is he.

Josie said...

Oooh, the new place sounds lovely, lots of one-floor space for both of you! I so agree on the morning thing. I wish I could get up that early. Sunday mornings, when John sleeps in a bit are my very favorite time. Being a couple is a challenging mix of togetherness and alone time. Hopefully you can have the best of both worlds, as I have, with the exception of missing more time for blogging... gotta choose companionship over blogmanship every time tho - makes for happier blogs and blogger! :-)

Cheryl said...

You BETTER let someone else do all the work when you move. I know you won't, but you should. It's going to be so great when you're there!

Poor Brodie. That must have been so horrible. Not so much for him; he won't remember it. The rest of you will always have that visual.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday. Rest!

Coffeypot said...

I'm glad you have someone in your life again. But you are getting up about the same time I go to bed. Around 3 a.m.

Leann said...

It sounds wonderful! I hope you enjoy the change and the company :-)

Blessed be this beautiful Sunday Jamie.

ain't for city gals said...

We have lived in our 200sq ft guest house (one room) for the last two years while we are building. It does get challenging at times but it seems to work for us. Sometimes I wonder how much room we really need ...thinking maybe just a bit bigger...with a separate bedroom and door. Luckily, we both keep the same schedule...

welcome to my world of poetry said...

I feel extremely happy for you and wish you all the luck in the world.

Loved those pics. really awesome.

Take care.
Yvonne.