Sunday, June 05, 2011

I'm happy, dammit.

Today has possibilities and hope...

of being productive by:

Finally vacuuming. I put this off and put this off and put this off by:

sweeping. All the time sweeping--the wood floors, part of the carpet and area rugs. With a good old fashioned broom and one of those power broom thingys...that run on a rechargeable battery. Over time they lose power and that is where this one is now.

Vacuuming kills back my neck. Ugh. But it has to be done, sometimes. And today is that day. Plus the pain in the afore mentioned places can't be much worse than it currently is, so no harm.

And I am only about halfway finished with the sewing project that I began a week ago and I want that out of my hair. It hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be.

I went over to help Janelle and family move yesterday, and there was little for me to do. She is one amazing woman when it comes to this --- she gets in there, and gets sh** done! So, I did a little of this and some of that, and then it was time to get out of her way and let her put that cute little place together the way she wanted it.. I knew there was no way I could put things where she would want them...and she had it all well under control. So I did the shopping that had to be done and came home. I was an alright day.

Friday night, I had plans with a friend for dinner and drinks. I had to cancel. I could not go out...I was in no kind of shape to go out with someone that I know but not too well. He is just a friend, but does not know or understand the magnitude of my problems and I just can't sit and tell him all about it, omgosh, who wants to hear that? He is a great guy and would certainly try to understand, but I so don't want to have to go into all of that with him.  So, I had to cancel and then I cried. I could hardly walk by that time of the day, and while that happens to me often, trying to explain it is difficult at best. I am used to it, my family-Mark-even my coworkers are getting the drift but a new friend? No...I was taking high amounts of pain killers and was afraid I would act goofy or something. But I am so tired of missing out on life. I was really looking forward to a "normal" evening out. A few laughs...time away from home that is not necessary but actually wanted and enjoyed.

But today is a new day and I am going to be productive, even if it harelips the governor. (Yes-- I know, that saying is so non-politically correct..but I have used it all my life. When I was growing up, my best friends mother always said this, and I have used it ever since.) No harm to the gov meant in any way...

So I am going to vacuum, do laundry, sew and make a big salad. (Seinfeld flashback here...LOL) And be happy. I am going to be happy, dammit.

So this is happy me, signing off. I'm gone.  :)


kristi said...

I am so sorry you are in pain. My hubby has bad back problems and we went to the movies yesterday and he could hardly walk afterwards. He is 38. It is frustrating! Have a good day. :)

Gypsy Dancer said...

I understand how you feel especially about the missing out on life part. Sometimes it feels like our own bodies are the enemy and feel compelled to betray us and let us down at every juncture.

Deciding to be happy? Now there's something we can control if we really believe it.

And the friend you had to cancel on? Maybe you could ask him round for a coffee where you are in the comfort of your own home. He may be one of those wonderful individuals who really would understand about what you go through. Maybe you could organise to go out at the beginning of the week when you're not at your most tired and when you aren't in so much pain. I think it would be great for you to get out and have some fun. You deserve it my old friend.

C.A. said...

I think chronic pain is hard for anyone to understand unless they've experienced it. Sometimes I think that's part of the reason I keep myself in a bubble and don't let people close to me very easily. I'm so sorry you're hurting and you know I'd do anything to make your pain stop.

Love you, girl!


Josie said...

Once again, Jamie inspires me! If you can find a way to be happy while dealing with chronic debilitating pain, I think I can manage the same. Happiness is, after all, a state of mind, a way of being at peace with our lives no matter what things in them we can't control. It is a beautiful Sunday morning, hopefully you won't work too hard. I should, but probably won't either. I agree with our dear Gypsy, and I'm betting your new friend might be more understanding that you realize and glad to stop by and spend a little time keeping you company. You are such a delightful soul, Jamie, and so very much more than the damn medical issues that plague you. Have a good week starting with today, you are always in my prayers!

Coffeypot said...
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Coffeypot said...

When ARE you gonna tell him? Go ahead! You don't have to go into detail, just casually mention you are hurting and why. It gets it out of the way fast. If he really cares, he will ask questions and talk to you about it. If not, then you can go on and enjoy your evening (though lay off the wine with all the pain meds.) It beats setting home crying. I love that phrase about ‘harelip the governor.’ That reminds me that every time I hear the name Mark I think it sounds like a harelip dog barking.

Golden To Silver Val said...

Oh boy....I do SOOOO understand. I guess its called "makin' hay while the sun is shinin'". I have to do the same thing cause Lord knows when I'll have another good day where I feel like moving. LOL
The other dilemma is a little different. It all depends on the person. Since its someone you found good qualities in, more often than not, he will be understanding and it won't matter. If he disappears from your life, then be glad you're rid of one who is so selfish. So, all I can say is just be quote Shakespeare, "to thine own self be true" mother used to say those words to me all the time and it wasn't until I got much older that I appreciated their full meaning. Have a wonderful is absolutely GORGEOUS here.....and GREEN! xo

Heart said...
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Lena said...

Hey, thanks for checking in on me. I am doing OK! Today, just very, very tired and achy. That is to be expected.

Maybe you could get a high school girl to come in and help you with your house work so you could have more time for some fun?

I know I never would think to do those things for myself to make life more manageable but now I see things differently.

Take care of yourself, pain is no fun.

Raine said...

I hope your pain has eased and that your day really was happy

Moohaa said...

Happy you equals happy me.

Being able to be productive during chronic pain is a great feeling. Even lousy house chores can make you feel human. I know, I did it just today. Mount Laundry has been tackled and folded and put away.

Love you friend!

Leann said...

I have never heard that saying! Oh my gosh..I will have to remember it. Have you thought about hiring someone to deep clean your place once a month so you just have to keep up on the small stuff? Just sayn'. :-) Have a wonderful week my dear!!

Cheryl said...

I'm trying to catch up with my friends. That means you. Hope your week so far has been good. Why did Janelle move? How did the boys take the switcheroo? I'll be around more now that my busy life has settled down. TTY soon :-)