Valentines Schmalentines

I have had a good weekend so far. In fact, it has been an extended weekend, as I took Friday off---a mental health day. Or a don't lose my mind, at least at work, day. It has been relaxing and lazy. I have actually been lazy-at least where my apartment is concerned. It looks pretty much like ass. I have done little, just the bare minimum to keep it going -- cleaning the kitty box, sweeping the floor countless times, keeping up after the kitty food mess that is neverending. Today though, I am going to have to at least drag out the vacuum, the hair and litter are taking over. If I didn't have cats I honestly think this place would be self cleaning. But I do and it's worth it.

I have been out a bit - have gone to the gym twice, both Friday and Saturday, walked around outside a little, and I have done some shopping. All in all, quiet, relaxing, easy. Mark and I went out for a bit last night, carousing. It was a fun evening, and a pretty early one. Home before midnight, and I was ready. Today, I think I will at least make an effort to make a decent meal, I assume he will be around some. I have spent the past ten days or so pretty much in solitary, by choice, but it feels pretty good to have some human company.

I have had a good case of the February blues, but surely that is about past me by now. It happens every year, this month is always the most dark and ugly and cold in my world. I am over-ready for spring, the ability to open the door and windows, walk around without a hundred pounds of extra padding, and without snow and ice to be careful of. I have always said that there is a reason this month is so short...and it is hard to believe that we are already nearly half through it. It can't be over soon enough for me. Valentines day is tomorrow, another reason to hate this damned time of year. That day is nothing but a reminder of how screwed up my love life is..or how screwed up it isn't, depending on your perspective. To have a screwed up love life requires a love life in the first place and that is non-existent in my world. Mark and I are just friends these days, the way that we decided was best for us. Usually that is okay with me, having a man in my life requires more than I am willing to give, but occasionally---like on Valentines day, I feel sad for what I have had in the past and most likely will never have again. I did receive two dozen beautiful red roses last Thursday at work, from a man that I haven't even seen since last fall. It was a grand and sweet gesture, but he will not let it go, I get at least three or more emails from him each week, telling me that he will never give up on me. The attention is nice but the whole thing is tiring, and I am not interested. I tell him so repeatedly, beyond that I can do no more, other than enjoy the flowers.

The weather is supposed to be somewhat nice today, and my plan is to get out and walk a few miles in the real outside. I am so tired of being IN...ugh.

Spring, where are you?