Monday, January 24, 2011

Well dammit.

My weekend ranked right up there with a visit to the dentist, as far as excitement goes. My week is not starting off any better, since I am home from work today, unable to walk any farther than a few feet. My pain level is off the charts even with the pills, and that has left me to weak too go. Dammit. This is unexpected to a degree but not necessarily a surprise, I have been unable to do anything since last week. I haven't been to the gym, I haven't been out anywhere, and a visit to the grocery store was the best I could do yesterday. Double dammit. Sometimes I go along pretending that there is nothing wrong with me, nothing I can't take into my own hands and change. Then reality takes over, thankfully only now and then, and shows me who's boss. I used to get mad, but there is no point. I am grateful that I am able to push through ninety-nine percent of it and keep going. I suppose the days now and then that I am stuck doing something other than I intended should just be endured and somehow enjoyed (?). If you can enjoy sitting in the bed in the middle of a messy room, laundry that needs doing, kitties that always want something from me, and a conscience that keeps whispering, "just TRY going to the gym...". Bleh. I rarely take joy in doing nothing, and to be a prisoner of my limitations is something I am unable to do with grace. So here I sit. Not complaining, not really. Okay, so maybe I am complaining a little. Happy freakin' Monday, ya'll. I'm out.

6 comments:

Smocha said...

Girl, cut yourself some slack .Tons of perfectly healty ,pain free people NEVER even force themselves to go to the gym.

Hope you feel better soon! The cat's will still love you if you have to neglect them a little :)


Happy Monday

Coffeypot said...

Sorry you are hurting. Wish I could do something...

Lena said...

Hope you feel better as well. Pain stinks!

Leann said...

I am so sorry you are dealing with so much pain. Try not to beat yourself up about gym time. I admire you beyond belief for the accomplishments you make every day given what you deal with.

Does the climate have anything to do with the pain? The cold? I don't know exactly what your diagnosis is so it's just a wild thought tossed out there.

Take care of you!

JTS said...

Venting a little is far healthier than keeping it all bottled inside. I'd be fussing a lot more than you do! I think you handle the pain with more grace than anyone I know because you refuse to give up on living life! So take a little time to rest and let this round subside a bit. I know when Spring comes you'll be right back out there heading for the gym! :-) And yes, when you aren't feeling well, kitty's can be cuddly but also little pests!

Jules said...

Hey my friend, sending healing and loving thoughts because I'm keeping the morphine for myself ;)

Seriously... I am.