I am feeling a bit pissy this morning, with a capital P, even. GAH. I don't really understand why, perhaps because I have to go to the job again, and you know - no matter what I do, that place is just plain, effed up. I don't think I will ever get comfortable there, even though I honestly do have it made. To be perfectly honest with you all...I am seriously not going to be able to keep working for long, my health is just too bad. It's all I can do to put in eight hours. Seriously. I drag my butt home and die every night. Take pills to compensate for the hours of pain I have endured. You all have no idea how hard this is for me to admit. I am not a quitter, I have the strength and will of steel...but I fear I am on the last inning of a huge losing game. Not that leaving is any kind of option for me, I am literally one paycheck from an appliance box under the bridge. I am unable to tell you all how tired I am of this fight. Drag here, do this, drag home. No, I am not mentally unstable or depressed, this is a real problem. And a fight I won't be able to keep up much longer. I wish I knew what to do about it.
The brake BOOSTER (?) on my car has gone out, according the the guys I work with. I drove in yesterday, no problem. Left work late in the day, and the brakes were acting funny to I chalked it up to the cold, the temps had dropped to less than zero wind chills by then. I don't use my brakes at all in the twenty miles I drive to and from, I hit the bypass's and let 'er go. However, once I use the exit at my house, brakes are needed. They about threw me out of the car when I pressed down on them, and they made the weirdest hissing sound INSIDE. I called the guys back at the garage, and that was the general consensus over the phone. He said to be very careful driving back in today....that they will work but will take longer to stop. I will have to get it back there to have it fixed, oh joy - another expense. If I don't die in the damned thing, first. GAH.
I have the Christmas thing all wrapped up, literally. Well, except for what has not shown up yet, but that should be today or tomorrow. I am mailing out what needs sending today --- well Mark is, I should say. All that is left is the cleaning and grocery shopping and cooking...GAH.
Perhaps I should quit bitching? I seriously love Christmas, and this whole time of year. I am just feeling physically shot. Sorry for the whining. I shall go now. You all have a happy, okay?