Friday, August 14, 2009

But then again...

You know, blogger has this amazing little button named "undelete", and I am surprised at how happy I feel to see my little space back up there in the world of bloggers, once again.

Our blog group has changed drastically. So many have left the blog0sphere...or have quit writing except on RARE occasions. I certainly understand this, although I'm sure that everyone has their own reasons. I do believe that facebook and twitter have had a huge hand in it. I do have a facebook page, but I find it generally unsatisfying, and use it mostly as a way to connect with my kids. If they are facebooking, then they are alive. :)

I have been busy these past two months. I have been working, and getting my life in order and I have made progress. Many huge decisions have been made by me, and I am diligent in seeing them through. All of them take time, and it's easy to fall back into the old life patterns that almost fifty years of living have produced, but I am getting there.

1. Financial issues are behind me, if you don't count the destroyed credit and the years it will take to rebuild it.
2. Mark has been given his walking papers and I am battling to get him to follow through.
3.I bought off my kids (ugh, that sounds awful), but I gave them the last dollar they will get from me, because they are desperate. I reserve the right to help when I feel like it.
4.I am working on my attitude about my job. I know too well that I have it made in that department and am trying very hard to feel appreciative of the freedom I have there. After all, it does (just) pay the bills.
5.I am working on a creative project that I have wanted to start all my life. The going is slow, but still, it's going.
6.I am trying to shake off the old pressures, the old ideas, the old way of doing most everything. It is time I live the way I want to, the way I choose. Surprisingly, this is difficult to manage, for someone who has lived because of others for so long. Baby steps, and some are in the wrong direction, and call me selfish if you want, but it's the only key to my survival.

So, having said that, I am back on the doctor circuit once again. I have injured my lower back, and need surgery. My neuro has asked me to wait however, due to the complicated nature of the mess I have from L1 through L5. He is afraid that yet another surgery will leave my quality of life in worse shape than now. Apparently as long as I am walking and smiling, this is the best I can hope for. I am on a new regimen of medications and restrictions. No more bicycle for me...I am sure this is how I have hurt in in the first place. It makes me sad, but I am trying to feel grateful that I am walking at all. Apparently, those days could end.

And enough about me. Happy FRIDAY blogging world! Thanks for taking me back. :)

9 comments:

Smocha said...

OMG!!!I'm so happy to see you!

Glad to hear that you are making good changes for yourself . I'll throw in a prayer about the back situation.

I hope you are back to stay!

(((HUGS!! )))

Brad said...

I'm so glad to hear things are going ok for you. I've just taken it easy over the summer (blogging) but intend to get back to it as they days grow shorter and there's less distractions outside. I'm interested to hear about your creative project - I hope you'll spill t soon bu wish you the best of luck in the meantime. Big hugs my dear!

Golden To Silver Val said...

For once in my life....I'm nearly speechless! I am soooooo glad to see that you're coming back to us. I have MISSED you so very much! Hated the news about your back but now that they know exactly where the problem is....maybe it can be fixed or at least IMPROVED. I went through some lower back pain a few weeks ago and OMG...it was horrible. Muscle relaxers and pain pills finally got me back to almost normal and I sure wouldn't want that kind of pain again. I can only imagine what you must be going through and I wish so very much that I had the power to fix it....cause you know I would!!! Big hugs and WELCOME BACK dear friend. The baby is beautiful...isn't it amazing how fast they capture your heart. Keep smilin' .... even when you're kickin' A!

ac said...

Welcome back Jamie. You were missed. hugs, ac

Sophie said...

Yes, Yes, Yes! I saw "Jamie" pop up in the comments on Soul's new post and I had to check and see if just maybe you'd had a blogging change of heart. What a joyful day.. you're posting, Soul is posting, even our crazy ol' buddy Frank posted today! I am smiling ear to ear! I miss our old group and how we looked out for each other. I have a Facebook account too, and feel the same as you do. I use it primarily to stay in touch with John's daughters. It's just not the same as blogging and comments though, and obviously there is a lot of personal stuff I won't be sharing there.

I really liked your thinking on each of these items listed. Glad the financial crap is just a sad chapter in history. We can compare our lousy credit scores for the next few years. :-)

I hate to hear that your back is giving you hell, I'm beginning to wonder if pain is way of life for lots of folks at the midlife stage. John deals with it, I do to some extent, and for sure Soul does. Somehow I thought we'd all be two-steppin 'til 70.

You know that I can understand the "baby steps", maybe better than anyone else. Changing the way you think, feel, and approach nearly everything in life after so many years is hard work! But it does feel very freeing with each bit of progress you make. The best part is making choices that are good for YOU and not just for everyone else or for the sake of trying to keep the peace.

I am glad you have your furkids for cuddles and comfort, and that adorable grandson to warm your heart and soul. When God closes a door, He does indeed open a window or two or three!

A few years down the road we are gonna look back on these last few years and wonder how the heck we survived and rejoice in how much things have changed since then... I promise you!

Please keep blogging, your friends out here in the blogsphere want to know how things are going for you. I've missed your morning posts a bunch!

Welcome back, may God bless you!

JYankee said...

Hi Jamie....from the worst lurker / non blogger of them all! It's nice to see you back. Joz actually emailed me on Facebook..to try and see what I would be doing... for now though..it's nice to see you back... I promise not to lurk this time as much... :)

LastStand said...

I was talking with a mutual friend and she told me you'd blogged, I was glad to see she was right.

SOUL: said...

me too--- i hope you're back for good,

Summer said...

I'm so happy to read this!