Thursday, December 25, 2008

I am blessed

It was the most perfect Christmas Eve, ever. Well, that is taking into account that we were missing a few that couldn't be here this year. But still, it was wonderful. The traditions were carried on by me, and I had alot of help from my kids...and it worked well. There were screams of excitement over gifts, and complaints that too much had been eaten, and sleepy good-bye's around ten. I could not have wished for a better evening. There was the comfort of knowing that this group of people gathered here knew you inside and out and loved you still. There were shared memories, shared stories told just one more time, shared hugs and laughter.

And I have to tell you all this: Many times in the course of the recent years, I have wondered why..why these kids of mine have wasted opportunities, wasted connections, missed what I viewed as the important things. I have often wondered how they missed the boat on the things that I tried so HARD to show them as their teacher, their mentor, their mother. Last night, I realized a most critical fact----None of them, not ONE of them, has missed anything. All I have ever wanted for my kids is to be good hearted, loving, understanding, caring adults. And that is exactly what they are. I watch them as adults interacting with each other....and I marvel at how much they love, they understand, they allow for the shortcomings, they forgive, they actually get it. And I feel shame for wondering about them. Regardless of their ambitions or lack of them, regardless of the things that I place skewed value on...they have learned to love, they have learned to forgive, they have learned that family is where it's at. They accept...they ignore what's necessary and they treat me with the most love and respect any mother could ask for. So, I apologize to my children , and I thank God for each of them.

I will write a decent post tomorrow, today I get to see my nieces! Merry Christmas to each of you!


Smocha said...

Merry Christmas

I could not have said it as well as you just did.

here's to our awesome kids:)

Cheryl said...

If that wasn't a post to make you smile, I don't know what would. It's great to realize the blessings you have. Maybe your kids have heard you and taken stock? I wish you and your family a wonderful day and a New Year of good choices, good health and prosperity.

ac said...

That was the most perfect thing I've ever heard a mom say about her kids. It was inspiring! Blessings to you and to them on this special day.

Merry Christmas my friend! Hugs ac

ps. I updated for you. :)

desert dirt diva said...

we are all very blessed, and you said it the best..merry christmas!


fiwa said...

Girlfriend, I am sitting here crying because that post was so beautiful. You will write a decent post tomorrow? I don't think you COULD write a better post than this one. I hope your kids read it.

I am wishing you the very best in the coming year.

All my love,

Golden To Silver Val said...

Awww Jamie....this post was so heart-warming. Absolutely WONDERFUL. You've received just about the greatest gift there is....knowing that all your work in raising them was worth every single SECOND. Merry Christmas to you and your wonderful family. May this upcoming New Year bring you much happiness, dear friend. xxoo

Kelly Jene said...

Merry Christmas!!!!! Hugs and love from 15" of snow!

Beth said...

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

superjanel said...

that was the best compliment ever. thank you. :-)

SOUL: said...

wow jamie -i can't remember the last time you wrote a post that made me cry. i'm sure you have, i just couldn't pick one. but -- this one got me. and "i don't cry".

but. things change. right. and change, is growth. unfortunately, to grow... usually means we have to be slapped around a little. and that is never easy.

i see growth here. things you would have never "seen" or admitted to six months ago. you have been through hell to get to the point of seeing it.
but now that you are there-- maybe, let's hope--- you have learned the lesson that you were meant to learn, and life just might get a little brighter in your world .

that's my christmas wish for you--

i hope you feel better---

i'm out of smokes.. that like never happens to me in the morning. erg-- i must go get some-- cuz my hubby has refused. hmph. at least it's not freezin cold outside.

anyhow-- i'll look for you again when i get back.

i'm happy that you had a happy holiday. i know it was rough-- but you got through, and the next one will only be better.

soul - OUT