It was the most perfect Christmas Eve, ever. Well, that is taking into account that we were missing a few that couldn't be here this year. But still, it was wonderful. The traditions were carried on by me, and I had alot of help from my kids...and it worked well. There were screams of excitement over gifts, and complaints that too much had been eaten, and sleepy good-bye's around ten. I could not have wished for a better evening. There was the comfort of knowing that this group of people gathered here knew you inside and out and loved you still. There were shared memories, shared stories told just one more time, shared hugs and laughter.
And I have to tell you all this: Many times in the course of the recent years, I have wondered why..why these kids of mine have wasted opportunities, wasted connections, missed what I viewed as the important things. I have often wondered how they missed the boat on the things that I tried so HARD to show them as their teacher, their mentor, their mother. Last night, I realized a most critical fact----None of them, not ONE of them, has missed anything. All I have ever wanted for my kids is to be good hearted, loving, understanding, caring adults. And that is exactly what they are. I watch them as adults interacting with each other....and I marvel at how much they love, they understand, they allow for the shortcomings, they forgive, they actually get it. And I feel shame for wondering about them. Regardless of their ambitions or lack of them, regardless of the things that I place skewed value on...they have learned to love, they have learned to forgive, they have learned that family is where it's at. They accept...they ignore what's necessary and they treat me with the most love and respect any mother could ask for. So, I apologize to my children , and I thank God for each of them.
I will write a decent post tomorrow, today I get to see my nieces! Merry Christmas to each of you!