A little deeper

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! How many times have we heard that on the radio? I always think of it on this day each week....followed by my plans...."SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY....We'll have spaghetti made my Jamie, followed by NASCAR on ABC watched in the luxury of your own home....BE THERE" Yes, I know, I am not quite "right".

Okay, so I have been thinking, and that's not always a good thing for me. But I don't feel that i answered Josie's questions all the way. Yes, I answered them, but not the the extent that I would have wanted answers, had I asked the questions. So, I will try and go a little deeper here.

1. I told you that i felt that I have always had to fight to have respect and to be taken seriously, but I did not say why. Frankly, I don't know why. I thought about that all day yesterday, and i came to the realization that most people DON'T feel that way. Most of us already feel that they have respect and understanding. I suppose I was not respected or understood or taken seriously as a child, but were any children of my generation? I was a FAT kid. I was the only one in my family with a weight problem. Perhaps these feelings are rooted in that. I would say they probably are. I really am not one to think too much about the why, I tend to think about the now, and the solution. I also believe that if we don't like something about ourselves or something around us, then we should change it. Not sit around and analyze the why. So, maybe that is why i am not sure of the "why". I do know that if you told me that i could NOT do (accomplish) something as a child, then I would set out to prove you wrong. I am still that way. If you are my friend and you don't want me to do something,then you learn right away NOT to tell me in a way that challenges me. H learned that rather quickly. Now he doesn't tell me either way what or what not to do. It isn't necessary. I always (almost) do what's right for the situation. But if he takes the time or effort or is just plain stupid and says what he doesn't think I SHOULD do, then I will do it. Why? Once again, I don't know. The way I am wired, I guess. Over the years growing up, on the occasions that I would see my father, he would always lay one of those on me. "You could never do that. You aren't strong enough...mature enough....smart enough....old enough....and every time, I could. Now I know that he knew how I was, and I also assume he was the same way, so he was only being the puppet master, and i was the puppet. Back then, I didn't understand that. So yes, I feel compelled to fight for everything in my life. Giving in is not in my make-up. Others have learned that and have taken advantage but only to the degree that I have let them, I am not stupid. I put myself in a man-only profession and held my own very, very well. Yes, I have had to fight. All the way, all the time. But I am no longer am unsure of myself. I know what I am doing. It would have been easier certainly, to have chosen another job. But, look at what I would have missed out on. :)

2. Josie asked about the WHY on the love for dogs. I didn't answer that one either, and it took some thought. I really did figure that one out very quickly. My childhood was so extreme. The animals were the only thing that always loved me. No matter what. No matter how fat I was. No matter how much yelling or silence was going on at the time. Plus, I felt i had to protect them...the animals. And I did. And yes, Soul...you were right. My mother did give away King only to hurt my dad. It was part of her plan. She laughs about it to this day. I don't like that streak in her, no matter what, I didn't inherit that degree of ugliness from her. It wasn't and still isn't pretty. :0

I know this is probably over the top in answering, but when I looked back at the answers, I didn't think I had done a very good job, so there is the rest of the story, so to speak. I will answer the rest very soon.

I hope that each of you that drop by have a great Sunday. I plan to! Out.