Eleven

Eleven years ago today, I married Mark, my husband. It was a very small ceremony, in a beautiful bed and breakfast/restaurant and club that I managed at the time. I wore GREEN, yes, I know, a strange color to get married in, but it was the middle of the afternoon, and I just plain look good in green. I had been married before so I didn't think that the big, traditional thing would be appropriate, and really, I just wanted to go away and do it, just he and I. But he had never been married before, and his family sort of expected SOMETHING. Truthfully, I was scared to death, which I think is a funny reaction....since, I HAD been married before. I seriously thought that HE would be the one about to bolt....but no, he was as cool as a cucumber, I was the one having a damned breakdown...right there in front of God and everybody....I shook through the entire ceremony. I was unsure of what I was doing. I knew I loved him, but marriage was/is a scary proposition....had he uttered one little word...one little ounce of anything negative, I would have called it off, right there in front of everyone, I swear I would have. I married him because I had kids, three to be exact, and I could not continue to live with him. I felt the example that would have set was not one that i needed to show my kids. Commitment, you know. SO, anyway, I was ready to run. Literally. I was upstairs at the inn, the guests were waiting down in the living/reception room, full of gorgeous antiques, prior to the ceremony. My sisters were both with me, I was wearing sweat pants, and pantyhose, a mans shirt with paint on it, my best green push up bra, and hot rollers in my hair. Obviously, I was not dressed yet. Both of my sisters went downstairs to check on some detail and I was left alone up there. I wandered the hallway that I knew so well trying to decide what the hell I was doing. I heard feet on the stairway, I assumed it was one of my sis's returning. No, it was Mark. Looking absolutely beautiful, in his new suit, boots, and a smile like i have never seen. I took one look at him, and knew things were right. He kissed me, asked how i was doing, I told him he wasn't supposed to see me yet, and holy crap----don't I look ridiculous? He answered just right "you are always beautiful to me baby". He was so sincere. I was still nervous, but i didn't look back. Happy Anniversary Mark.