Tuesday, August 09, 2011


So many mornings (for me, middle of the night for you all) I wake up with a blog post in my head, but as the time goes on, I realize that once again it will only serve whining, complaining, bitching about my current life. I have no desire to do this, I feel that folks can only take so much of that kind of writing. However, that IS what my life is --- not to mean that my life is all negative, but my life consists of being unwell, and all the thoughts, issues, problems, and yes, even whining that goes along with it. I have no idea how to write around it..so let the bitching commence. Have patience with me, please. I once had a semi-normal life, so I do know the difference. Mostly my writing is random like the thoughts that seem to run in, around and through my head. Random.

I missed seeing my daughter and family once again last night. I knew she was coming to pick up the car, and I also knew that my grandsons would be with her. But I couldn't stay awake. Could not. So, they were here and dealt with Mark, again. My babies are going to forget all about their MEMAW.

Speaking of cars, I have two. My Pontiac Gran Prix, my Chrysler 300M. Want to know what's parked in the garage at this moment? Nothing. Oldest child has the Chrysler. Youngest child has the Pontiac. Thankfully, Mark can take me to work today...this is his day off. Otherwise, I do believe I would be standing beside Interstate 35 south with my thumb out. I am hoping that youngest's car will be fixed today and that I will have my Gran Prix back. Otherwise, I will be driving a loaner car from the service department at work. Anyone see anything wrong with this picture? I have to tell you all though, that it was my choice that youngest take my car instead of a loaner from my work, his job at the sandwich shop often involves delivery, and I could just see a huge, major, giant mess should anything happen with the car while on the job...every person/business I know would be involved in that lawsuit. I learned many years ago to look ahead a few steps and never forget that often what can go wrong, will. As far as the Chrysler goes, it is sort of an extra that I am keeping in the family for the purpose of someone needing a car, it seems that in this group, someones ride always has issues, and we do at least have an extra. Right now, Janelle uses it most as they are short one vehicle, temporarily. It is well worth the payment and insurance for the time being.

The current living situation with Mark and I is getting a bit precarious, mostly we live in one room of my apartment, the bedroom. Probably around 150 square feet, total. I am not sure why, as there is a whole downstairs available, that too is small, but it is there and usable. Other than using the kitchen, we stay up here in the bedroom. That is where the tv, the computer, the washer and dryer, the full bathroom is. For two of us and three cats, it is TOO small. We are sort of bumping into each other, and the collection of boxes and moving related stuff is interfering as well. And we still have four weeks to go. Pray for me. Pray that I don't kill him, will you? And while we are on the subject, may I just say that garbage bags and Arnold Snoresnigger and Maria Shriver Snoresnigger are nothing to fight about? Just sayin'...

Today at three I am being fitted with a back brace and a tens unit.  A transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation machine. I have no idea if it will help, but I will try anything. It is for the leg pain..and it is awful lately. However, my neck pain has taken over, it is now the number one problem and that is new. I am experiencing awful, scary, even hugely mortifying new problems along with it. I am not scheduled to see the usual doctor today, but I am having this done at their office, so I hope to be able to speak to one of them. Something has to be done about the new problems, like NOW. I am scheduled to take the psychological test later this week, to see is I am a candidate for the spinal stimulator. Once again, I am ready to do anything to help me, but that is not for the neck pain either, and I am MUCH more concerned with that right now.

Holy cow, after five already. My new time zone - the hydro and oxy-codone zone - is way off these days.

Peas, out. Or fish and peas. Or some damned thing, I'm gone. :)


Golden To Silver Val said...

Thinking of you and saying some pretty deep prayers for you, dear friend. Watch for an email. Big hugs. xxoo

On The Road Again said...

I am amazed at how you maintain your sense of humor considering what your body puts your through. I think you will find the tens unit, but oh I am so sorry you have to try to adjust to a brace, that is so hard to do.

Beau's Mom said...

First: stop starting your posts with explanations and apologies. We're here cuz we know you're in pain. Jump in with the complaints.

Second: Children are a combination of joy and misery, especially when mama might have to thumb her way to work.

Third: All the tests on rats and anger take place in small cages where there's no room for solitude.

If I was in one room with Joe, who is patient, kind and solicitous of me, I'd still kill him just for the extra space his body is taking up.

welcome to my world of poetry said...

You're doing well Jamie,

Blogger won't let me view my blog page but can use the dashboard.
Take care.

Anonymous said...

Where are you moving to, BTW? Did you find a cute place somewhere?

Your sense of humor never wavers, no matter the pain. I adore you!

C.A. said...

You are on my mind, Jamie. I'm thinking of you daily and fighting right along with you. Just take it as it comes and try not to get bogged down in what's behind or ahead.



Moohaa said...

I agree with your friend who said to stop apologizing at the beginning of your posts. This is life, if someone can't deal with it, they don't need to read your blog. Personally, I appreciate that you write about your pain and how you're dealing with it because I can relate and know that I am not alone.
I want to be like you when my kids are grown and be able to have a car they can use or whatever. Maybe someday!
I've used a tens unit before. It was okay while I was using it. It was no miracle worker, but it felt kinda nice. But as soon as it was off, the pain was back to normal.
Post about how it goes with that, I'm curious to know how you do with it.
As for the neck pain.. geez, who needs more pain for cryin out loud?!
As we both always say... gentle hugs. <3

Leann said...

Hello my dear. Ditto on the apologizing. Your life is what it is, ups, downs, and in betweens. I love your ability to find the humour in just about any situation. I know about lack of space and the cantankerousness it can bring on. Hang in there or stuff him in a closet somewhere. :-)

Enjoy your evening and peas out :-D

Blessed be.

Jo-Anne Rambling said...

Complain away you can bitch and whinge about whatever you like it is one of the reason we have blogs.......
I truely feel for people who have a lot of pain my mother is in pain 24/7 and takes morphine tablets for it without the morphine she is in so much pain she cannot move. I also get a lot of back pain and when I go shopping I need to use a trolley to help me walk or end up in so much pain I just can't get around.....

I hope the back brace and a tens unit helps you........

The last 4 cars I have had I ended up giving to a daughter and yes I only have three daughters but one of them got 2 cars from me....this latest car is mine and I will not be giving this one away......lol

C said...

hi, i don't know you very well yet, but we are neighbors.. we live in bellevue, a suburb of omaha.

i hope that whatever is ailing you, gets fixed or at least your pain subsides.

a mom is a mom... we will go without for our kids to have what they need. such is life...

take care.